English homours 英语 幽默
A western store ran the following advertisement:
"Apples, oranges, imported nuts. Come early and avoid the rush. The early bird gets the worm."
Notes
1. to run the following advertisement:登载下面一则广告。
2. imported nuts: 进口胡桃
3. Come early and avoid rush. 欲购从速，以免拥挤。
4. The early bird gets the worm. 捷足先登（先下手为强）；但它的字面意思是：早来的鸟可得到虫子。
A Married Man is Preferable
"Just why do you want a married man to work for you, rather than a bachelor?"Asked the curious chap.
"Well," sighed the boss, "the married men don't get so upset if I yell at them"
Notes:
1. preferable: 更好的
2. rather than a bachelor: 而不是单身汉
3. curious chap: 好奇的家伙
4. upset: 心绪烦乱的
5. yell at:对…吼叫
A Tried and Trusted Employee
"I used to know Mr. Smith, who was with your firm. I understand he is a tried and trusted employee…"
The banker looked at his questioner coldly.
"He was trusted, yes; and he will be tried, if we're fortunate enough to catch him."
Notes:
1. a tried and trusted employee: 可靠的雇员
2. used to know: 以前认识
3. questioner: 询问者
4. and he will be tried, if we're fortune enough to catch him. 如果我们走运把他抓住，他将接受审判。 Tried在这句话中是try的过去分词，意为："审问"，"审判"；它做形容词时为"可靠的，可信赖的"之意。
How Did You Make Your Fortune?
"How did you make your fortune?"
"I became the partner of a rich man; he had the money and I had the experience."
"How did that help?"
"Now he has the experience and I have the money."
Notes:
1. to make a fortune:发财
2. the partner of a rich man: 一个有钱的合股人
How did that help? 那顶什么用呢？
The Legend on the Salary Receipt Forms
A certain firm had the following legend printed on its salary receipt forms:
"Your salary is your personal business, and should not be disclosed to anyone."
The new employee, in signing the receipt added: "I won't mention it to anybody. I'm just as much ashamed of it as you are."
Notes:
1. legend: 说明
2. the salary receipt forms: 工资收据单
3. personal business: 私事
4. to disclose: 泄露
5. in signing the receipt: 在收据单上签名时
6. to mention: 提起，说起
7. to be ashamed of: 为…感到害臊
Were You a Bull or a Bear
"I hear that you dropped some money in Wall Street. Were you a bull or a bear?"
"Neither, just a plain, simple ass."
English homours 英语 幽默
A western store ran the following advertisement:
"Apples, oranges, imported nuts. Come early and avoid the rush. The early bird gets the worm."
Notes
1. to run the following advertisement:登载下面一则广告。
2. imported nuts: 进口胡桃
3. Come early and avoid rush. 欲购从速，以免拥挤。
4. The early bird gets the worm. 捷足先登（先下手为强）；但它的字面意思是：早来的鸟可得到虫子。
A Married Man is Preferable
"Just why do you want a married man to work for you, rather than a bachelor?"Asked the curious chap.
"Well," sighed the boss, "the married men don't get so upset if I yell at them"
Notes:
1. preferable: 更好的
2. rather than a bachelor: 而不是单身汉
3. curious chap: 好奇的家伙
4. upset: 心绪烦乱的
5. yell at:对…吼叫
A Tried and Trusted Employee
"I used to know Mr. Smith, who was with your firm. I understand he is a tried and trusted employee…"
The banker looked at his questioner coldly.
"He was trusted, yes; and he will be tried, if we're fortunate enough to catch him."
Notes:
1. a tried and trusted employee: 可靠的雇员
2. used to know: 以前认识
3. questioner: 询问者
4. and he will be tried, if we're fortune enough to catch him. 如果我们走运把他抓住，他将接受审判。 Tried在这句话中是try的过去分词，意为："审问"，"审判"；它做形容词时为"可靠的，可信赖的"之意。
How Did You Make Your Fortune?
"How did you make your fortune?"
"I became the partner of a rich man; he had the money and I had the experience."
"How did that help?"
"Now he has the experience and I have the money."
Notes:
1. to make a fortune:发财
2. the partner of a rich man: 一个有钱的合股人
How did that help? 那顶什么用呢？
The Legend on the Salary Receipt Forms
A certain firm had the following legend printed on its salary receipt forms:
"Your salary is your personal business, and should not be disclosed to anyone."
The new employee, in signing the receipt added: "I won't mention it to anybody. I'm just as much ashamed of it as you are."
Notes:
1. legend: 说明
2. the salary receipt forms: 工资收据单
3. personal business: 私事
4. to disclose: 泄露
5. in signing the receipt: 在收据单上签名时
6. to mention: 提起，说起
7. to be ashamed of: 为…感到害臊
Were You a Bull or a Bear
"I hear that you dropped some money in Wall Street. Were you a bull or a bear?"
"Neither, just a plain, simple ass."
Note:
1. golf: <名词>高尔夫球； <动词>打高尔夫球；（这个 单词 是由green [绿色], oxygen [氧气], light [阳光]，和 foot [步履]的第一个字母缩写而成的。）
2. course:球场
3. round: <体育>一
4. stroke: <高尔夫> 击球数；杆数
5. embarrassment：窘迫；尴尬
6. accompany: 陪伴
7. parking lot: 停车场
8. blurt out: 脱口而出
9. transvestite：异装癖者
10. tee: 开球区（开球区上有三组远近不同的开球线。离洞最远的开球线被称为“冠军线”，一般是供最有实力的球员使用；中间的开球线为男子开球线；最前面的开球线为女子开球线。）
Not "How" but "Why"
Critic: "By George, old chap, when I look at one of your paintings I stand and wonder--"
Artist: "How I do it?"
Critic: "No, why you do it?"
Notes:
1.By George: 确实，的确。表示惊奇或感叹。
2. old chap: 老兄。
Drunk
Six men who were feeling no pain were staggering down the street about one o'clock in the morning. Laughing and singing loudly, they walked up to a two-story home. One of them managed to make it to the door and pounded on the doorbell insistently. A light came on in an upstairs window.
The spokesman for the group yelled up,
" Is this where Mr. John Smith lives?"
"Yes, it is. What do you want?"
" Are you Mrs. Smith?"
" I am. What do you want?"
"Could you come down here and pick out Mr.Smith so the rest of us can go home?"
Notes:
1. stagger: 踉踉跄跄地走
2. insistently: 持续不断地
3. spokesman: 发言人；代言人
The Signs
Jones: " Why do you have such misspelled words and bad grammar on the signs in your windows?"
Storekeeper: " So people will think I'm a fool and come in expecting to get the best of me. Thanks to those signs, business is the best I've had in years.
Notes:
1. sign：招牌，广告（牌）。
2. misspelled words：拼错的字。
3. in your window：在你的橱窗里。
4. to get the best of ：得便宜。
Are Those Eggs Strictly Fresh?
Customer: "Are those eggs strictly fresh?"
Grocer (to his clerk): "Feel those eggs, George, and see if they're cool enough to sell yet."
Buying An Antique
Customer: "What! Five hundred dollars for that antique? Why, I priced it last week and you said three hundred and fifty."
Dealer: "Yes, I know; but the cost of labor and materials has gone up so!"
Notes:
1. antique: 古董，文物。
2. I priced it last week. 我上周问了这东西的价格。
